“Tyre kicking” and pesky evidence for results with PCW

My old mentor, Frank Farrelly, had a mantra: “Show me the evidence”

Having trained with Carl Rogers, he was fully aware of the theory of classic therapy, but pointed out that the reality is often very different. All therapy and coaching is essentially problem solving, and the process of figuring that out can be called “tyre kicking” This is about challenging basic assumptions and finding the difference that makes the difference. In my view, the best minds always engage in this process and its not about “being right, but finding what works in real life” We can agree to disagree, but healthy and at times heated discussion is in my opinion essential, if we want to expand thinking.

Live work & genera lie sations

In PCW, we use the stances and other tools to find what works in real life. The live training, both in person and online, is mostly centred on 1-1 sessions with no prior filtering of demo subjects. This is quite different to some motivational trainings where there is a huge amount of screening. This reminds me of an old music hall joke where the presenter asks for a volunteer, and a guy in the audience puts his hand up. He says, “You’ve never seen me before, have you?” The reply is “No, Dad…”

Years ago, I bought a DVD set from a major trainer called “Class of the Master” I thought “, Wow, this should be good” I saw that one of the demo subjects was a person the presenter had known for many years, yet it was presented as a new member of the public. When I first talked to Steve Andreas from the NLP world, he commented, “It’s very rare for trainers to release any live demos of their work”, which surprised me.

In PCW, I always suggest students challenge generalisations in their communications. Last year, I ran two major online groups for Eastern Europe, each for40 hours online. A big part of this training was to identify the ingredients that make the problem the problem. One student asked, “Does PCW work for low self-esteem?” I replied, tell me what low self-esteem is, and I’ll be better equipped to answer your question!

Similarly in other approaches, coaches can talk about “limiting or negative beliefs” I would ask, “What’s a belief that has no limit to it?” and “When you say “negative”, how do you determine why its “negative” from your own subjective view of the world? Of course, its all about context and that’s why more critical thinking and “tire kicking” will in my view produce better results. I fully appreciate the benefits of categories in discussing problem states, but often, people don’t ask the questions to really find out the specifics of how the problem is being created. In some approaches, coaches engage in endless technique-based exercises that are often highly unproductive or, worse still, increase the problem!

In the world of coaching and therapy, there are, in my opinion, all manner of daft claims, and sometimes the lack of congruity is staggering. I’ve seen companies talking about “Global financial success” and “Million dollar mindset” tuition. Yet, Companies House records show that the same characters making these claims have a history of financial disaster in business. Often, business accounts are overdue, and companies are listed for being wound up. One of the NLP training companies I used in 1990s went through so many revisions, I lost track of what was going on!

Yes, any business can have issues, but a regular pattern tells a story. Similarly, I always look to see how practitioners and trainers live their lives. This is not about whether I agree with their lifestyle choices. Still, if they have addiction issues, a history of broken personal relationships or other such issues, these factors all tell a story.

My experience is that those with a good sense of humour and an interest in many areas of life are often the most well balanced individuals in my opinion. I’ve met some terrific people over the last 30 years and always welcome intelligent discussion.

Many of the approaches used to draw large audiences no longer do so. This is in my view partly due to covid 19, the tougher financial times we live in, and the fact that people have become wise to hyped ‘change your life’ style events. That doesn’t mean there is nothing to learn from such events, but many of the hyped promises don’t add up in the real world. This has led to the same trainers creating what are, in my view, some rather odd “David Icke” style events. There is an audience for that, but in my view, it is more “entertainment” than actual education.

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I’m a big fan of “show me the evidence”, and that’s why I love to work with PCW in contexts where we can objectively identify real results. Sports and business are two good examples of this. Of course, not everything works with every approach, and the idea that “we all have the resources within” is at best somewhat optimistic! I am grateful to the clients in both sports and business, as well as in coaching and therapy, who have confirmed that problems are being resolved.

Getting a personal best in sport to qualify for the Commonwealth Games, swimming the English Channel, winning a gold medal at the Olympics, and other sporting achievements are all examples of undeniable results, as are many in other areas of life.

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I’m used to online tantrums from folks who feel driven to comment and disagree with statements I make on my personal social media pages.

I always applaud the enthusiasm for taking the time to post, but remind folks that, unlike being in an airport, there is no requirement to make daily announcements…

To paraphrase Groucho Marks –

“These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, I have others…”