The crucial need for definition for effective communication and personal sanity

Definition in client sessions

One of the most invaluable lessons I learned from Frank Farrelly the creator of Provocative therapy was the importance of definition. Frank talked a lot about when its useful to put in and to take out boundaries in assisting with clients. Initially I was quite shocked by how insistant Frank was on this matter, but later came to fully appreciate its value.

In PCW there’s a strong emphasis on definition from the outset when taking on clients and many car crash scenarios in coaching and therapy occur when there is no proper definition of expectations.

• Prior to taking on any client, each client will complete a full set of client notes as a condition of me seeing them.
• Every client session is recorded for the client to listen back to, in order to gain the best results from the session time.
• I clearly set out my conditions for seeing clients both on my website as well as in all correspondence, so everyone is clear about what is expected. This makes for far better communication and avoids any misunderstandings.

Definition in training sessions

I’ve been running trainings since 1980 and receive all manner of requests to run trainings. Most of these are entirely sensible, but sometimes hosting companies have a huge lack of awareness when it comes to setting up and running trainings.

Common mistakes include –

• Not having an easy online booking system for attendees
• Relying 100% on social media for marketing and not having a central website with good information
• Not revealing the location and venue for the training
• Not defining the trainer’s expectations needed for the event.
• Lack of consideration to the physical training space
• Interrupting the trainer during the live event, which creates chaos in the room
• Not defining the trainer’s expectations including diet and training times

Yes, to many reading these, these are mostly common sense, BUT experience has shown that some hosting companies lack the basic awareness to professionally run events. I had one company insist that E shots were the only form of marketing that worked. Another company wouldn’t reveal the location of the training venue and another was just terrible in replying to requests for basic information. Its also important to remember that a training is NOT a therapy session, yet sometimes this key detail is missed. All events are recorded and archived, so there is a clear record of all trainings. This is either done by myself or the training company and is a non negotiable aspect of running PCW trainings.

During the actual training its essential that the trainer maintains authority in the room. Frank Farrelly was really insistant on this matter and this is one of the reasons why his events ran so well. My own experience is to never work with hosts who don’t appreciate this common sense element as it makes it literally impossible to do a good job. Fortunately this lack of awareness is rare and most hosts appreciate that the trainer knows what they are doing and trusts them to actually run the training, especially when they have decades of experience in such matters.

To date I’ve sacked a number of hosting companies when its clear that they either don’t care about such matters or lack the basic awareness needed to run a professional event. Fortunately most companies are great at paying attention to detail and most transactions run smoothly. The problem with the other characters is that they are so unaware that they refuse to accept any suggestions that are to experienced professionals basic common sense. Poor manners are the death of a training company’s reputation of course.

Definition in creating products and online considerations.

With the advent of the internet, it’s become common practice for some people to simply steal and sell on training material. This pirating is conducted on an industrial scale and I actually employ somebody to chase down such characters.

My good friend Andrew T Austin has been invaluable in offering advice on such matters and there are now easy remedies to take down offenders sites and shut down YouTube channels. Its of course bad manners to steal other people’s work, but again many such characters simply don’t care and don’t appreciate the potential financial and reputational consequences.

Legal remedies as a last resort

If all common sense discussions fail, then I have no problem with going down the legal route. To date I have had a number of legal actions and many characters really don’t expect to be held accountable for their actions especially when written contracts are in place. Again, the primary cause is these individuals either don’t care or don’t have basic common sense and good manners. Fortunately the need for legal action is rare, but if you do go down this route, employ the very best professionals. In business always check the detail of any written contracts before you sign them. Once signed the contract is of course the authority for what is agreed.