Testing times during covid 19

I just returned from Vienna which is the first time I have flown since the start of covid 19. I’m a massive fan of proper health and testing, but this was quite a cautionary tale in terms of how much time and energy is now involved for anyone wanting to travel. Personally, I can’t imagine travelling purely for holiday reasons at this time.

The starting point is to find out which tests you need to take ahead of travel and how best to take them. Its at the best of times massively complicated, not helped by the UK’s policy which keeps changing. Before flying we had to take a PCR test 48 hours before when we arrived in our chosen country overseas. If you take the test too early you won’t meet the requirements, if you leave it too late you also won’t meet the requirements. With this in mind we booked online an 85 quid test at the local airport. All well, so far… We arrived early and there was nobody in sight and then we spotted one of the workers. We asked “As we are here early, can we move our time up by 30 min rather than waiting? Can you ask the guys in the office over there who currently have no customers?” The response was “No, you have to book via the app on your mobile phone” So, if you don’t have a smart phone, at this point in time and for all travel, you are truly screwed!

We managed to change the booking and presented ourselves at the desk. We were due to fly at 10 am two days later (32 hours later) so my wife asked, “When can we expect the results back which allow us to fly?” The response was “Hopefully (note this key term) you will get a reply within 48 hours” “Hopefully I asked?” What if we don’t get them back in this time? Both in person and on the phone the company admitted that they were “hopeful” but could not reassure us further. A back up plan was to get a PCR test at the airport on the day, which would be another staggering 285 quid each! Fortunately, 24 hours later we got an e-mail, so again, good news. Otherwise, we’d be spending over a thousand sounds, just for tests! It’s interesting to note that a PCR test in Vienna is 50 euros, half of what it costs in the UK.

Armed with our test results we head out to the airport. On arrival the guy behind the desk compliments us on our organization, but laments the fact that the information he receives changes so regularly that nobody really knows what’s going on! We make it thought to departures, so far so good. As we are about to head for the plane another member of staff asks, “Where’s your Holland quarantine form?” “What we say? Nobody including the original check in guy has mentioned anything about this form! We, and all other flyers are now furiously tapping into their smart phones to complete this new form. Again, if you don’t have a smart phone, you are screwed…

All time spent in the airport and on the plane require everyone to wear a mask at all times. Its also worth noting, that it needs to be “the right kind of mask” and what is acceptable in the UK, may not be ok overseas, again “pesky details” Long periods of wearing masks (6 hours plus) are pretty uncomfortable and you can often feel pretty dehydrated.

We arrive in Amsterdam with our double vax certs and PCR forms in hand, waiting to be asked about the mysterious little know “Holland quarantine form” and guess what? NOBODY asks for it! Amsterdam to Vienna is a 90 min flight and you need to always wear a mask. There are regular requests for social distancing, which although well intentioned are somewhat daft as none of us have yet developed the ability to change the fabric of space like Marvel character “Dr Strange”, the space we all occupy does not allow for what they are requesting.

We arrive in Vienna to blue skies and sunshine. Everyone is wearing masks and we book a taxi which also means you need to wear a mask during the journey. On arrival at the hotel, we have to show all testing documents to date, and we head for our room.

Two days later we need to book another PCR test in order to return home along with a new “Passenger locator form” This requires additional investigation. We have booked online and take the tests which we are told will be within 24 hours, no use of the term “hopefully” from the Austrians! So far, so good… That said, just before getting the test, we attempted to buy a croissant and coffee, but despite showing our double vax certs, lateral flow tests, PCR tests, we were told ‘NO, WRONG CERT”

The pharmacy, as promised, via the testing lab sent the e-mail with a link to download the certificate. On clicking the link and filing in the day, month, and year of birth, we not unreasonably expect to get the certification. The message online says, “INCORRECT DATE OF BIRTH” Both of us are confident we know our dates of birth, but now after a few attempts my wife is now locked out. After some exploration, she figures out they have inserted our birth dates as 2019 and I now have on my phone an official certificate stating I am covid clear, but two years old. My wife doesn’t even have this cert.

The pharmacy stated that it was the lab’s error, and they wrote a letter which “hopefully” (yes that term again) would allow us to get through the airport. On the day of flying we do get a correct link, but only when at the airport. In talking to both passengers and airport officials, its clear that there is a massive amount of communication about these “testing times”

I’ll be staying at home for some time and no future overseas trips are planned for at least a year.